Getting Back Into It

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately so I have decided to talk about it.  That is what blogs are for away right. Ever since I could remember I've been unsatisfied with my weight. I will warn you some of the comments that I have made under my pictures are not the kindest but It's what I think when I look at the photos. 

I remember in 7th grade while in track practice wishing I had thinner legs, I remember every summer telling myself this was the year that I was gonna lose the weight and come back looking good.  But it never happened.  I think I maintained my weight for the most part during high school and beginning part of college.  I noticed my first big weight gain when I got back from Australia but sadly it was so much that I wasn't the only one who noticed. When I look back, I think it was a normal case of ate too much food and didn't move enough.  

One of the few photos I have from when I got back from Australia.
I'm hiding my double chin behind my hands

I guess I gained around 20 lbs.  I could tell in my face, I went up a size in my pants and I could tell that people could notice.  I tried to eat better and work out a little more but it never seemed to work.  And that is how it was for the next few years.  My weight would go up and down, down with a break up, up when I got into a new relationship.  

My wedding day.  I choose this photo because all I can focus
on is my arms and my stomach.

It wasn't until December of 2014, after I tried to ninja bullet for one day and felt like I was not going to make it without chocolate that I signed up for Weight Watchers.  I signed up a few days before New Years.  I think obsessed is a kind word to phrase about how I felt about WW.  I ate better and worked out more than I ever had before and the results showed.  I think the first month I was already down 15 or so pounds.  In little than 5 months I was nearing my goal of 45 - 50 lbs lost.  

This is my motivation photo.  I've done it before so I can do it again.

I looked great and felt great.  I woke up at 5:30 am to go for a run outside and honestly I loved it.  To be out there when the sun was just peaking up and it was so quiet.  On my non running days I worked out with Jillian Michaels, she is my go to fitness person.  I like how she doesn't go easy on you and tell you that your doing great walking but I also don't feel like her workouts are too crazy out there.  

Hanging out with Jillian Michaels

But like a lot of things, especially fitness, when you are nearing your goal, you start to cheat a little bit more.  A part of me thinks that my body was starting to say that's enough, we can't loose anymore.  Around September I leveled out at around 163, my lowest was 155.  Around the same time it started staying too dark for too long in the morning so I joined the gym to work out in the morning and then about a week or so into it, I found out I was pregnant.  

A selfie at the gym right around the time that I got pregnant

The doctors reassured me that working out is fine and even healthy for me and the baby put I shouldn't shake the idea that I, somehow would harm the baby. Then the morning sickness kicked in and it's really hard to get back into working out after you have taken even a few weeks off.  

This was me about 36 weeks pregnant

So I stopped working out and watching what I ate.  My weight would go up and down as my pregnancy went along, some doctors were concerned, others were not.  I think when I stepped on the scale the night we went to the hospital, I clocked in at 203.  So I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy.  Not the amount that doctors recommend but nothing super terrible. A week after James was born, I think I was around 190 lbs, makes sense since James was 8 pound baby.  And since then, my weight has stayed about the same.

While it's a cute family photo, I can't stop wishing that I was in better shape.

I have read that while for some women breastfeeding is a miracle weight loss trick and the pounds just melt away (you burn about 500 extra calories producing breastmilk) but for some women it makes them hanging on to an extra 10 to 15 pounds.  I think I fall into the last category. 


In March, I joined Weight Watchers again but it wasn't the miracle that it was for me last time.  The first couple weeks I lost 5 lbs then it stopped and I stopped keeping track of my points. The only thing that helped me get to my weight now is that Wes and I both got a 24 hour flu.  I lost 4 lbs from that and I have been able to keep it off.  Resting at around 180 lbs. Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it this time.  I don't think I tracked an whole day once. The program had changed and I just wasn't feeling it.

At Allison's Baby Shower,  My eyes are drawn to my backrolls 

As silly as it sounds I think thats a big part of actually losing the weight; feeling it.  I can only think that is the main reason on why one attempt at weight loss fails and the another time is successful.  You have to be in the right place in your life, you really want to be tired with how you are looking/feeling, you have to be feeling it.  And the last go round, I just wasn't.  I cancelled my weight watchers right before the 3 month period, that I had already prepaid, finished.  It's just not in our budget to pay for something that I'm just not using. 

I can think of tons of reason why it was different this time 

 I'm home, not at work.- I have excess to all sorts of food, all day long.  Yes, we only have food that I buy but what if I don't feel like eating a snack but when we are out, I realize that I'm hungry and stop to get something to eat.  When I was at work, I had only what I bought with me.  

I can't seem to bring myself to eat veggies -  I've bought them and let them go bad. I bought the ones that I would eat everyday, I even bought the good humus but I couldn't bring myself to eat it.  This is still a struggle I have, besides salad and warmed up green beans and corn.  No vegetables sound appealing.

One of my favorite salads pre-baby.  Spinach, blueberries, strawberries and chicken.

James -  I feel like this is the biggest feature that keeping me from getting back into shape.  Between getting up during the night and just the overall exhausted that comes from being a new mother, working out wasn't a priority. And now, If i want to go for a run, I have to take him in the stroller and make sure that it won't interfere with his nap or eating time or too hot outside, because none of those make for a good run.  It's just not as simple as it used to be and I think thats the part that I'm struggling with.  

One of our attempts to go out on a run 

So I'm at the point now where I want to try it again.  My goal is to get into the 160's, preferably low but I think that range would be good more.  Being in the 150's is just really tough for me and I don't want to always have to be worrying and counting every calorie that goes into my body. I want to get to a place of where I don't have to use an app or program to lose weight.  I want to be in a good place for James and future kids. I want to be in a good place before we start trying to have another baby. I want to do the next pregnancy different.

So late last night I decided to do something and I set my alarm for 5:30.  James usually wakes up around 6:30 so that would give me an hour to get a workout in.  Not gonna lie, it was a short night last night so I hit the snooze button twice and it took me a little bit to get out of bed.  By the time that I got to the living room and pulled up Jillian Michael 30 day shred, level 2, I got about 5 minutes into it when James woke up.  In my defensive he did wake up early, around 6:15, but on the other hand it took my over 30 minutes to get up.  

I went and got James up, nursed him and bought him out to the living room to play. I decided that level 2 was a little too much for me so I went back to level 1.  I have done this level so many times that I can do all the exercises without the actual DVD on.  After way through James got hungry for breakfast so I took a break and got his breakfast ready, put him in highchair, pulled it into the living room so I could keep an eye on him/ refill the food tray.  

This morning trying to fit a workout in 

Working out this morning actually went really well.  I'm glad that I got it out of the way, thats the one thing I always enjoyed about working out in the morning, and now I'm free to use his nap time for chores or even catching a nap myself. 

So my plan to lose weight is:
-Start of keeping track even through I hate using my fitness pal and find it way overwhelming.  I'm either gonna use it again or try to find another one about the same idea
-Try to move everyday - I would love to do JM five times a week but I'm not sure if I'm there yet so I'm gonna shoot for 3 times and walks everyday.  Both of the boys love them and it's a nice way to break up the day.
-Try to work in more veggies - This one is gonna be tough
-Try to lose one pound per week.  My plan is to be around my goal in about 4 to 5 months. Maybe I will pick it up after the nursing is completely over but that is in the future and it's hard to say. 
-Relax about all this -  getting worried and worked up doesn't help this process.
-And learn to love my body for what it is

So my questions for you:
-What are you go to workout moves?
- Do you love your body for what it is and how did you get there?

-Megan